5 Common Sleep Myths
New moms are buried in advice, suggestions, and information from the moment they find out they are pregnant. This comes from all areas: caring family members, to strangers on the street, to the internet.
This is all given with the best intentions, but it is overwhelming nonetheless. How often don’t you hear the words, “You should,” “You’ll want to,” and “You’ve got to.” If there is no such number as a “kajillion,” it should be created specifically in order to measure the number of suggestions a new mother receives in her first year of motherhood.
There is no such thing as a casual mom. This gig is full-time, no matter if you are a stay-at-home-mom, a working mom, or somewhere in between. Your kids are on your mind 24/7, no matter what else might be going on. So we tend to do a lot of research, and with access to unlimited data via the internet, Barnes & Noble, or your mother-in-law, it is inevitable that we get some conflicting information.
So today, I want to focus on my area of expertise- sleep- and try to dispel some of the more popular myths I have seen in parenting forums, heard from Mom groups I have talked with, or had angrily shouted in all caps on my Facebook page.
1. Sleeping too much during the day will keep baby up at night.
Not likely, except in extreme cases. Unless your little one is sleeping practically all day and up all night, you probably do not need to concern yourself with the length of their naps. Newborns especially need a ton of sleep. In fact, up until about 6 months, I do not recommend that your little one be awake for more than about 2 – 2.5 hours at a time. For newborns, that number is more like 45 minutes to an hour.
What keeps babies awake at night, more than anything else, is overtiredness. You might think that an exhausted baby is more likely to sleep for a full night than one who slept all day, but it is actually just the opposite. The reason we refer to it as being “overtired” is because baby has missed the “tired” phase and their bodies start to kick back into gear, which keeps them from falling and staying asleep. A baby who has gotten a decent amount of sleep during the day is far less likely to miss the sleep window.
There are substantial variations depending on baby’s age and the length of their naps, but up to that 6 month mark, it is really not uncommon for baby to be sleeping around 5 hours a day outside of nighttime sleep, so if your little one is still within those guidelines, let them snooze.
2. Sleeping is a natural development and cannot be taught.
Sleeping is natural, absolutely. Everybody wakes up and falls back to sleep multiple times a night, regardless of their age. So no, you cannot teach a child to be sleepy. What can be taught, however, is the ability to fall back to sleep independently.
The typical “bad sleeper” of a baby is not less in need of sleep, or more prone to waking up. They have just learned to depend on outside assistance to get back to sleep when they wake up. Once your little one has figured out how to get to sleep without assistance from outside sources, they start stringing those sleep cycles together effortlessly, and that is the secret to “sleeping through the night” as most parents understand it.
3. Babies will naturally dictate their own sleep schedule
The idea that infant physiology is so flawlessly, naturally programmed to regulate a baby’s schedule is, to be blunt, laughable.
Our babies need extensive care and help in their development, and their sleep cycles are unbelievably erratic if left unregulated. If they miss their natural sleep cycle by as little as a half hour, their cortisol production can increase which causes a surge in energy, and things quickly spiral out of control. So as much as I wish babies could just fall asleep when they are tired, it simply does not work that way. That is not to say that you should not respond to their cues, but you should not rely exclusively on them either.
4. Sleep training is stressful for the baby and can affect the parent-child attachment.
Nope. And this is not just me talking here. This is the American Academy of Pediatrics. According to a 2016 study conducted by eight of their top researchers, behavioral intervention, (A.K.A Sleep training) “provide(s) significant sleep benefits above control, yet convey(s) no adverse stress responses or long-term effects on parent-child attachment or child emotions and behavior.”
5. Babies are not “designed” to sleep through the night.
Trusting your child’s physiology to dictate their sleep schedule, their eating habits, their behavior, or just about any other aspect of their upbringing is a recipe for disaster.
Is your toddler designed to eat three pounds of gummi bears? Surely not. Will they if you do not intervene? Without a doubt. Is your baby designed to avoid predators? Not infants who love anyone and anything that will cuddle them.
Our little ones need our expertise and authority to guide them through their early years, and probably will for decades after that. This is especially true when it comes to their sleep. Some babies are naturally gifted sleepers, for sure, but do not rely on the advice of those who tell you that babies should dictate their own schedules. You are in charge because you know best, even if it may not feel like it sometimes.
There are obviously plenty more myths and misconceptions surrounding babies and their sleep habits, but these are some of the most important to get the facts on.
Remember, there are endless posts on social media and websites that portray themselves as factual, but there is nothing stopping them from making that claim, regardless of their accuracy. Find peer-reviewed scientific study on all things baby-related, and trusted sources like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the National Institutes of Health, Britain’s National Health Service, Canada’s Hospital for Sick Children, the World Health Organization, and other national children’s health organizations are excellent sources of information you can feel confident about using to answer questions about your baby’s health.
And if you want more information about the benefits of sleep, I am willing to talk about it anytime and anywhere!
