Maintaining Your Child’s Sleep Schedule Over the Holidays
With the holidays approaching, many parents who have recently gotten their baby sleeping on a schedule are worried that they might regress a little over the holidays. And sadly, those fears are not unfounded. Between the travel, the excitement, the constant attention and then travel all over again, the holidays are the single easiest way to throw all of your hard work out with the wrapping paper and turkey bones.
But I’m happy to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way! With some strategic planning and an iron will, you can keep that carefully orchestrated routine running just the way you did at home. There are two major impediments to your little one’s sleep over the holidays. One is travel and the other is family and friends, so I just want to tackle both of those topics individually.
First off, travel. If you are thinking about starting sleep training, but you have a trip in a few weeks, my suggestion is to put off the training until you get back.
If you have already started or just recently finished, don’t worry. Taking a trip probably won’t help your little one sleep better, but if you can maintain some semblance of normalcy until the end of your trip, you and baby should be ready to get back to business as soon as you get home.
If you are driving to your destination, schedule your driving time over baby’s naps. Car naps aren’t ideal, but compared to no naps at all, they are the lesser of two evils. So if at all possible, get on the road right around the time that baby would normally be taking their first nap. You might even look for some parks, tourist attractions, or other outdoor activities that are on your route where you can stop when baby gets up. It’s a great chance to get out into the sunshine and fresh air, which will make that next nap much easier.
If you are flying, well, my heart goes out to you. It’s no secret that planes and babies just don’t seem to like each other, so I suggest (and this is the only time you’ll hear me say this) that you do whatever gets you through the flight with a minimum amount of fuss. Hand out snacks, let them play with your phone, and otherwise let them do anything they want to do. The truth is, if they don’t want to sleep on the plane, they’re just not going to, so don’t try to force it. It will just result in a lot of frustration for both of you. (And, most likely, the passengers around you.)
Now you have arrived, and hopefully you’ve managed to maintain some degree of sanity. Here comes the hard part. Because in the car or on the plane, everybody is on your side, right? Keeping baby quiet and relaxed, and hopefully asleep, is just what everyone is rooting for. But now that you are at Grandma and Grandpa’s place, it’s just the opposite. Everyone wants baby awake so they can see them, play with them, take a thousand pictures, and get them ridiculously overstimulated. And it’s exceptionally difficult to tell all these friends and family members that you’re putting an end to the fun because baby needs to go to sleep.
So if you need permission to be the bad guy, I’m giving it to you right now. Don’t negotiate, don’t make exceptions, and don’t feel bad about it. Firmly explain to anyone who’s giving you the “I’ll just sneak in and take a quick peek,” that baby is in the middle of sleep training and you are not taking any chances of waking baby up. Let them know when baby will be getting up or better yet, tell people in advance when to expect some baby time based on baby’s schedule.
I know it sounds harsh, but the alternative can be a quick backslide to day one. Baby misses a nap, gets all fired up because of all the new faces and activity, then overtiredness kicks in, cortisol production goes up, and the next nap is ruined, which results in more overtiredness which derails nighttime sleep, and before you know it, you’re headed home and it seems like baby did nothing but cry the entire trip.
So now everyone knows that you’re not budging on baby’s schedule. She took her naps at the right times, and it’s time for bed. The only catch is that, with all of the company staying at the house, there’s only one room for you and baby. No problem, right? Bed sharing for a few nights isn’t the end of the world, after all. I wish I could make it that easy for you, but again, you want to make this as little of a deviation from the normal routine as possible, and babies can develop a real affinity for co-sleeping in as little as one night.
I recommend making the room into two rooms. You can do this by hanging a blanket, setting up a dressing screen, or put baby in the closet. That sounds crazy, I know, but a decent sized closet is a great place for baby to sleep. It’s dark, it’s quiet, she won’t be distracted by being able to see you, and people accidentally walking in and out of the room are much less likely to disturb her.
And while we’re on the subject of “no exceptions,” that rule extends to all other sleep props. You might be tempted to slip baby a pacifier or rock her to sleep if she’s disturbing the rest of the house, but baby is going to latch on to that really quickly, and chances are you will be waking up every hour or two, rocking baby back to sleep or putting her pacifier back in, which is going to end up disturbing everyone a lot worse than a half hour of crying at 7:00 at night.
Now, on a serious note, I find the biggest reason that parents give in on these points is, quite simply, because they’re embarrassed. There is a house full of eyes and they are all focused on the baby, and by association, the parents. The feeling that everyone is making judgments about how you are parenting is overwhelming in these family gatherings, but in those moments, remember what is really important here. Your baby, your family, and health and well-being. There may be a few people who feel a bit jaded because you put baby to bed just when they got in the door, and your mother might tell you that putting your baby in the closet for the night is ridiculous, but remember you are doing this for the health of you and baby.
If you have already sleep trained and have a great sleeper on your hands for the holidays try to keep everything as close to normal/home as possible- darkness, own space, sound machine, lovies and blankets, etc. Then you can follow the 80-20 rule. 80% of the time stick to the schedule and 20% of the time let it go- take a stroller nap so you can go on the outing, stay up a little past bedtime to open presents. But remember, it is still up to you and if you don’t want to have to deal with your over tired little one the next day, then stand firm and stick to your schedule! And enjoy the holidays!
